I had one of those days today where I just didn't know what to do with myself.
I thought many times about doing something I enjoyed, sewing, knitting, going for a walk...but just couldn't get the motivation up to do anything but a load of washing and watch some TV I'd missed during the week. When I did finally get the motivation to do something I baked a cake. A recipe I have used a number of times. For some reason the consistency was different and I couldn't figure out why, I had added all the ingredients. I decided to just leave it as it was and put it in the oven. It took ages to set and I ended up getting it out a bit earlier then I though I should. It was only when I took the cake out of the oven I realised I had put double the amount of butter...250grams instead of 125grams...bummer.
I find I'm pretty hard on myself on these sorts of days, feeling like I should(could?)be getting things done. This usually happens after a few "good" days. We had a really nice weekend. One of my sisters (and her husband) came to stay with us. It was really nice to have them here. Jek and I spent some time moving some things around in the house. My crafty space is in another area of our house now and it works so well, I have found myself going into the space a number of times just to sit and enjoy the space. It's off of our kitchen and I can see into the space when I am at the sink. In time I think I am going to enjoy creating in that space.
After Jek and Dave left we started painting our entryway and hallway so that distracted me from them leaving. It took us a couple of days. One for the undercoat and one to paint. It looks so good now. It was a dark green and it made the hall so dark. It is now antique white and it is so different and great. We are looking forward to doing a few of the other rooms too, now that we know what we are doing.
Yesterday I went and had a facial, manicure and pedicure. It was a gift from 3 of my dear friends. It was so lovely and relaxing. I am finding it more and more important to set a few tasks each day, so I'm not at a loose end...being at a loose end doesn't feel very nice at the moment.
Getting back to today...something very nice happened, Tim bought me a beautiful bunch of bright flowers. orange Gerberas, yellow daisies, red roses and a flower I don't know but it is bright and happy. He got them just because. He's so wonderful to me.
My sister in law pinned this photo a couple of days ago and I thought it to be so true and quite comforting, that it is OK that our healing takes time and I don't have to rush. Even when I am having a not so good day and the motivation is lacking, it's all part of my healing process