Sunday, May 05, 2013

Isaac Elliott

We came down to Adelaide on the Monday 15th April for Tim to attend a couple of conferences. We also had a few appointments to attend for bambino while we were here. On Wednesday 16th we had a check up ultra sound and our bambino's head had reached full term size (when the rest of him was at 30 weeks) This was due to the fluid on his brain not being able to drain. Our anxiety levels got pretty high that afternoon while we watched the screen and talked with our Doctor afterwards. 
The next day we had a meeting scheduled with the Palliative care team to talk about care for our little bambino. We have known for some time that he would probably not live for long after birth and we discussed what we might like to happen once he was born. A couple of weeks earlier we had discussed the possibility of having a vaginal birth, but that opportunity was fast becoming something that could not occur. We also talked about the risks involved holding off on having a caesarean too.
At that appointment we were given a few options of what to do. All were as shitty as the next. We discussed it with our Doctors and made a decision about what we would do. We set a date to have our bambino and the way he would be born, which involved a complicated and risky procedure in order for some of the fluid to be released from his brain before he was fully born. We were uncertain whether he would survive the procedure.
Our little Bambino Isaac Elliott Spilsbury was born on Monday 29th April at 10.03am
8 and a half weeks early. He was 41cm and weighed 2.11kgs. He had beautiful black hair and a bright blue eye. Big feet like his Daddy.
Tim baptised him and we had 20 of the most precious minutes with him before he passed into eternal life. We were able to have Issac with us in our room and loved on him, cuddled, kissed and stroked his beautiful soft skin-the softest skin I ever did kiss. (We were able to do this because of a fantastic invention called a cold cot that the hospital has, it was wonderful to be able to have Isaac with us for a couple of days while we spent time with him, loving on him, bonding and telling him how much we loved him)
We are utterly heartbroken and we miss him so much. He is the greatest gift we have ever been given and we look forward to the day we get to hold him again. The hurt that I feel at this time is so great that these first few days have been the hardest of my life. We know there will be lots to come before the darkness clears.
I'll be taking a break from Lozalicious to spend time with my beloved Tim and to start the healing of our hearts. I hope I'll see you again sometime xx
 We are so Thankful to have these photos, credits to Heather from Heartfelt photography (theatre photos) and Rachel for the family photos
Footprint photo taken by me