Sunday, May 05, 2013

Isaac Elliott


We came down to Adelaide on the Monday 15th April for Tim to attend a couple of conferences. We also had a few appointments to attend for bambino while we were here. On Wednesday 16th we had a check up ultra sound and our bambino's head had reached full term size (when the rest of him was at 30 weeks) This was due to the fluid on his brain not being able to drain. Our anxiety levels got pretty high that afternoon while we watched the screen and talked with our Doctor afterwards. 
The next day we had a meeting scheduled with the Palliative care team to talk about care for our little bambino. We have known for some time that he would probably not live for long after birth and we discussed what we might like to happen once he was born. A couple of weeks earlier we had discussed the possibility of having a vaginal birth, but that opportunity was fast becoming something that could not occur. We also talked about the risks involved holding off on having a caesarean too.
 
At that appointment we were given a few options of what to do. All were as shitty as the next. We discussed it with our Doctors and made a decision about what we would do. We set a date to have our bambino and the way he would be born, which involved a complicated and risky procedure in order for some of the fluid to be released from his brain before he was fully born. We were uncertain whether he would survive the procedure.
Our little Bambino Isaac Elliott Spilsbury was born on Monday 29th April at 10.03am
8 and a half weeks early. He was 41cm and weighed 2.11kgs. He had beautiful black hair and a bright blue eye. Big feet like his Daddy.
Tim baptised him and we had 20 of the most precious minutes with him before he passed into eternal life. We were able to have Issac with us in our room and loved on him, cuddled, kissed and stroked his beautiful soft skin-the softest skin I ever did kiss. (We were able to do this because of a fantastic invention called a cold cot that the hospital has, it was wonderful to be able to have Isaac with us for a couple of days while we spent time with him, loving on him, bonding and telling him how much we loved him)
We are utterly heartbroken and we miss him so much. He is the greatest gift we have ever been given and we look forward to the day we get to hold him again. The hurt that I feel at this time is so great that these first few days have been the hardest of my life. We know there will be lots to come before the darkness clears.
I'll be taking a break from Lozalicious to spend time with my beloved Tim and to start the healing of our hearts. I hope I'll see you again sometime xx
 We are so Thankful to have these photos, credits to Heather from Heartfelt photography (theatre photos) and Rachel for the family photos
Footprint photo taken by me

11 comments:

  1. Lauren I'm not sure what to say...Take time to heal, to be with your loved ones and take care of yourself. I am so glad you were able to spend time with your beautiful little boy, he will always know how much he is loved by you both and will always be with you. Hugs Catherine xx

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  2. :'( love you loz. You are the strongest woman o know xx

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  3. Can not imagine what you and your family are going through. How precious those minutes were and you are lucky you will have those minutes forever. A heaven is having someone hold you in their hearts xox

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  4. Lauren, you are a true Daughter of the King. Thank you for sharing this with us and may God continue to hold Tim and you in his arms as you journey through this time. Lots of love, hugs and kisses. God bless Correen and Wayne

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  5. your blog has been an inspiration to me. i admire the strength and love and faith you and Tim has demonstrated through all of this for all of us. God Bless you, Loz, Tim and Isaac. sheena

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  6. Thank you for sharing your story, even though it brings a year to my eye everytime I speak of it or hear more of the heart breaking details. You, Tim and your family are some of the most special people I know... You are in my thoughts now more than ever. Love to you all, Sarah xx

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  7. Thank you for sharing your story. Love Chelsea xxxxx

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  8. What a perfect little man and so courageous to fight to give you that most precious time with him, that will be the most treasured time in your life.

    I hope that you have a strong support network to help you through the next year or so of the roller coaster ride of grief. There are support groups that can help you connect with other parents or mothers of Angels (SANDS, Sids and Kids, Bears of Hope to name a few). Your precious Isaac will always be right there with you, you just can't see him anymore, you need to look harder for the signs. You will see them. Look for them on Mother's Day, he wouldn't miss it for the world.

    Family and friends reading here, remember to say his name often, don't be scared to talk about Isaac. To hear their name spoken is like music. It hurts but it's still the most precious word that can ever pass anyone's lips.

    Sending love from one Angel Mummy to another.

    'Up above the world so high...'

    Sharon

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  9. Lozza, thanks for sharing the photos and your journey. We feel so privilege to be able to see the photo's of precious Isaac and his Mumma and Daddy. The photos show so much love xxxx How special.....and praise God for the amazing support staff and facilities.
    Our hearts ache and leap for you both. May you continue to be surrounded by love and peace in stillness and activity.

    - As I, may you too be comforted and strengthened with these words from Nichole Nordeman

    " It may be miles and miles before the journey's clear
    There may be rivers, may be oceans of tears
    But the very hand that shields your eyes from understanding
    Is the hand that will be holding you for miles"

    Our love to you and Tim - the Uebe's xox

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  10. This is an amazing story and I applaud you for sharing it though your heart is most certainly breaking. I am sure that others will draw great strength from your story when they find it...
    I am glad that you are taking time to be with your family and friends so they help you replenish the strength you have expended in this amazing journey and storytelling; using ones strength reserves certainly do need replenishing, so bask in the comfort of your family and friends.

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