If you've been reading lozalicious for a while you would have read about our precious
bambino Isaac and all
the troubles we had. I wrote a few times here about our journey to parenthood and the heartache we had since Isaac passed away. After Isaac was born we decided we would have an autopsy because throughout my pregnancy the doctors didn't know what Isaac's diagnosis was or why all his problems had happened. We hoped we could get some answers from the autopsy. It showed some answers but didn't point to any one syndrome or diagnosis so we agreed to do genetic testing. The first test for
Baller-Gerold was sent to The Netherlands and we received the results back a couple of months ago and it came back "normal" meaning it was unlikely that what Isaac "had" was not Baller-Gerold. Dr Chris our geneticist, sent away to test another gene that can show the Baller-Gerald syndrome. We got those test results back last week and that one came back "normal" as well. So it was sort of no news...well it was and it wasn't. When we first found out Isaac had so many issues, we began a roller coaster of emotions, that we haven't really gotten off yet. I also held some hope that things would be different, that the doctors had it wrong and that Isaac would survive and be a healthy baby that we would bring him home and see him grow up. But after he died I guess those hopes moved to having a diagnosis so that we could know what we were up against for the future. And if I'm completely honest I hoped for news that would say what Isaac had...whatever it was, was a complete stoke of bad luck and it will never happen again. I hoped that we would get some news like that...that we could have that guarantee it would never happen again...but that's la la land. And it isn't going to happen. At least the "good news" is that it isn't a Baller Gerold- which was a 1 in 4 chance of happening again. Which would have been heartbreaking. But not knowing anything...and perhaps when we try and have another baby again just rolling the dice and giving it a go and having those torturous 12 weeks, 15 weeks, 20 weeks til ultrasounds to wait and see how the baby has formed and to see if it's all happened again...it's a bit complicated...but that's our life right now. SO we try and focus on the positives...I started a new job about 6 weeks ago. My sister is moving to our town next year with her graduate nursing position...and we are planning a nice holiday to Thailand. And hopefully when we are ready to add to our family again we won't have to go through this again...
